“Stop the glorification of busy” ~Unknown
I get it. You are busy, I’m busy, and we are all busy, but to what cost? and how much of it is self-created. I’m not saying this to negate that these are fast times and that we have more to do than we did before, but I’m going to be honest: Much of it is meaningless, self-sabotaging, and poor-organization-created busyness. We don’t do it because we want to be busy; we do it because we have been taught that our worth is tied to how much we do, with little to no emphasis on its meaning or how we do it.
This comes up in my coaching sessions all the time. Clients leave committed to taking action (Because that is what coaching is about…getting clear about your blockages and taking a step towards releasing them or learning new ways). But when we meet again, I often hear the words “I was busy” or “I didn’t have time.” You’d think this would upset me, but it doesn’t …it makes me more compassionate, and at the same time, it motivates me to try something else. Without telling you what to do, I’m going to shine a light on this subject right now using my personal experience. At age 22, I was an immigrant without any family support or financial “rescue net” in this country. I had two full-time jobs because I was determined to go to college. And I did. I paid my way to college, paying out-of-state tuition (that was at the time about $1,000 per class) on a waitress income. I was at the same time paying an attorney to help me with my documents and lived in a crowded apartment with 3 roommates. I did my own cooking, cleaning, laundry…the work. I did it all. I was very busy! But I had a WHY more powerful than anything in the world. I wanted my American dream, I wanted to get a degree, I wanted to show to my parents that I was not crazy for coming here alone. I wanted to stop waiting tables, (not that is not a perfectly decent job) I wanted to see the world and have financial stability. I knew very well what I wanted.
Why do I tell you this? Because with two jobs, I could have said, “I was too busy” or “I have no time.” That,, in reality,, was just a scapegoat for the real beliefs, which would have been “I can’t do it,” “I’m not good enough,” or “What is the point anyways?”….See? time is never The issue. It is an excuse to avoid the real issue. This real issue has different looks but is merely a fear of change. Because I wanted to change my circumstances so fiercely, I went past that fear, not that I didn’t cry and wish I had a normal college life, not that I didn’t wish I could ask my parents for help or go on vacation instead of working more during the summer or spring break…I did have all those feelings, but my hopes and dreams were bigger, and I fed them every day. How? I talked to my family often, I prayed, I surrounded myself with positive people, I read inspiring books, I found good mentors…I did not “Kill Time”; I knew how precious it was (and still do). And my WHY happened. I knew that intensity was temporary, and more importantly, I was not empty and busy; I was inspired to action. I did not distract myself from the experience. When it was hard, I felt it; when I had to rest, I figured out ways to do it; when I wanted to cry, I allowed myself to do it; if I needed help, I yelled for it. And when I needed to let go, I hung out with friends or went to the beach…I was not just outwardly busy. I was deep in it, being transformed.
So today, I want to invite you to GET REAL WITH YOUR WHY. Why do you even read my emails? Why do you care to learn more about healthy and mindful living? But more importantly, why do you stop at reading and dreaming – if that is your case- and don’t take action? . It is not just time. It never is. I write my blog and newsletter with the hopes of feeding your dream as I did a long time ago with mine. And now I’m offering you an even better way. I’m not denying that these times are fast. I’m acknowledging it by emphasizing the need for a better way to cope with them. This way is coaching, yoga, meditation, and conscious breathing. Times have changed, and you must change how you operate, too. I am changing the way I operate as well, and I think it will benefit many. How? Well, for starters, I know that in-person one-on-one coaching may be hard to squeeze in for many, but that doesn’t mean it is out of reach. All of you can now work with me from ANYWHERE. All my coaching and Personal yoga instruction is now available 100% online. No traffic, no travel time, or leaving work early, no babysitter either, not even having to dress nice :). Just one call in a quiet space, hopefully in your own home (even if the bathroom or garage is the only quiet place you find). You can begin to CHANGE…with a guide, with a system, and with hope.
Are you in? What is it going to be? Watching TV when you get home OR plugging into a source of motivation? Spending time on social media OR spending time learning to repair your existing relationships? Making another doctor appointment because you are sick OR learning how to live a healthier and more resilient life? Spending another sleepless night and eating emotionally OR using new tools to manage anxiety and stress? It is your time…your one hour a week, your call. You get the same number of hours as I do. I’m here just wondering… Are you going to respond to your WHY?
Coach Maria Marcano
