Have you seen a kind face, or have you shared one today? If not, you are experiencing the same thing I have been experiencing lately. The world has gone derailed; it looks hostile.
Kindness is deeply needed. A simple smile, a look in the eyes, or a short conversation is a major gift when you give it. People are hungry for kindness. I’ve been observing the behavior of some people surrounding me, and I can tell that fear is the main operating mode.
I can tell this because that was my go-to mode, too.
I see it because when that was my mode of living, I found it hard to trust others.
I can feel it because I can sense their defenses, walls, and the other familiar mechanisms I use, like avoidance and judgment.
In her latest book, Brene Brown mentions the habit of judging others or not believing people are doing the best they can. The data from her social work research shows that people who judge or fear being judged are harder on themselves. I know that, too, because that was me. I didn’t trust most people, and it hurt. This is a burnout precursor because one feels alone and tired when you’re always with your guard “on.”
Of course, we live in a world where people will “misbehave,” but if you get honest, you’ll see that the “offenses” are minor; we choose to focus on them and magnify them. This way, the word feels scary, and we think our judgment is justified. This is the problem with righteousness – it drains energetically, mentally, and emotionally.
If they annoy you, they show you something you need to see. You’re “using them” to project something from the past.
Kindness towards yourself is the remedy to this projecting habit. In reality, there are “parts of you” doing the judging and victim-feeling because they are afraid of feeling some old vulnerability. These parts are looking out, monitoring others’ progress, and not looking within (where the hurt is). The feeling you get when you are in this protective mode is that the world is against you, and the decision to focus on others leaves you powerless, tired, hardened, and burned out.
