I used to think burnout looked like total collapse.
You know, the dramatic kind. Crying in the office bathroom, needing months off, maybe even ending up in the hospital. That was burnout, I told myself. And since I was still functioning, still getting things done, still managing million-dollar events and managing a team, I couldn’t possibly be burned out. Right?
Wrong.
What I didn’t know then is what I now teach the women I work with every day:
Burnout doesn’t always scream. Sometimes, it whispers for years.
My Story: The Slow Creep of Burnout
Back in my corporate days, I kept brushing off the signs. I told myself I was “just stressed” and tried everything I could to manage it: massages, yoga classes, high-end retreats, beautiful vacations, a little shopping, a little wine.
But the weight always returned, no matter how many things I tried to relax. Sometimes even before the trip or treatment was over. There was always this tension humming underneath the surface, this heaviness in my body that I couldn’t shake.
I remember feeling exhausted even after a good night’s sleep. I couldn’t concentrate. I was irritable and disconnected. My hormones were completely out of balance, but I didn’t connect that to stress. I told myself I just needed a better supplement, a diet, or a different yoga class.
No one told me this was burnout. And even if they had, I wouldn’t have believed it.
Because I was still standing. Still producing. Still “fine.”
Until I wasn’t.
Stress vs. Burnout: The Somatic Difference
Understanding the difference between stress and burnout through the lens of the body, through a somatic perspective, was a turning point in my healing.
Here’s what I wish someone had told me years ago:
Stress is short-term. It has a beginning and an end.
Somatically, you feel the activation (faster heartbeat, shallow breath), and then, after the stressor is gone, you calm down. Your body knows how to return to baseline.
Burnout is long-term. It lingers. It stays with you, even after the stressor is gone.
Somatically, the heaviness, unease, and tension never fully leave your system.
Stress keeps you over-engaged. You’re hyper-alert, constantly moving, talking, doing. Your breath is quick, your energy is jittery, and your body feels wired.
Burnout brings disengagement. You start to feel emotionally flat, physically tired, and even numb. You move more slowly, struggle to care, and may feel detached from your body.
Stress feels urgent. There’s always something to do. Pausing feels impossible. You stay in motion, hypervigilant, bracing, tight.
Burnout feels hopeless. Even simple tasks feel overwhelming. Your body may feel too heavy to move, your breath shallow, your spirit dulled.
Why This Matters
The biggest trap for high-performing women is believing we’re just “managing stress” when, in truth, our bodies are burning out.
And because burnout often hides behind success, we don’t recognize it until we’re deep in it. The disconnect becomes normalized. The numbness becomes our new baseline. The coping, wine, food, vacations, and perfectionism become our medicine.
But burnout doesn’t need a dramatic collapse to be real.
It’s already real when joy disappears.
It’s already real when your energy never returns.
It’s already real when you’re doing everything “right,” but still feel disconnected and exhausted.
Healing Is Not Quick—But It Is Possible
If you’re resonating with this, I want you to know that healing is absolutely possible. But it requires a shift.
Not another spa day.
Not another productivity hack.
But a return to the body, a true somatic reconnection.
Here’s what helped me (and what I now guide others through):
- Learning to regulate my nervous system, not override it
- Completing the stress cycle in my body
- Working with my emotions, not against them
- Healing deep, subconscious patterns tied to self-worth and overdoing
- Allowing a season of restoration, not rushing the recovery
It took time. Real time. Six months to a year of dedicated nervous system healing. But the clarity, peace, and genuine aliveness I have now? Worth every step.
From My Heart to Yours
If you’re in that foggy in-between space, functioning but disconnected, achieving but exhausted, please listen to your body. Not your calendar. Not your to-do list. Your body.
Burnout doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’ve been trying to do too much, for too long, without enough support.
It’s not a failure. It’s a signal.
And the good news? You can answer it, lovingly, wisely, in your own time.
I’d love to support you on that path.
Come visit mariamarcano.com for somatic tools, burnout healing, and nervous system support.
Let’s also stay connected on LinkedIn or Instagram @maria.delmar.marcano where I share honest insights and practical guidance for women just like you.
You don’t have to wait until you collapse.
You can begin again, with tenderness, presence, and the new mastery of your authentic strength.
